‘A neighbour billed us for baking cakes for our street party – do I have to pay?’

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Moral Money from last week: “My best friends want money for a wedding invitation. Can I tell them to go away?’

dear moral money,

My best friends of 10 years are getting married next spring and planning is underway.

The couple originally intended the ceremony to take place a few years ago, but Covid put a stop to their plans. They told me that because of the wait, they now expect to pay thousands more.

Both the bride and groom have jobs but are having to downsize due to the livelihood crisis.

That’s why they came up with a thoroughly modern way to pay for their wedding: they crowdfund the ceremony by invitation.

They are asking friends and family to donate in advance towards the cost of the wedding in lieu of a gift. I don’t mind, but there’s a catch. They use a “tiered” system where those who donate more have a larger role in the ceremony.

For example, £150 gets an invite, £300 gets a seat at the main table, £500 lets you be a bridesmaid, and anyone willing to spend £1,000 can attend as best man. They are also considering having a guest officiate the ceremony for a donation of £1,500.

I don’t have a lot of money myself, and while I’d love to buy them a wedding present, I resent being expected to pay more just to be a part of their big day. They want me to be a bridesmaid, but I can’t afford it.

After a decade of close friendship, I feel I should be able to get more involved no matter how much I “donate.” I want to tell them to fuck off. am i a bad friend

-SL, via email

Poll Results: Should our reader pay for the invitation?

Yes, it is her duty as a friend – 1pc

Yes, but only what they can afford – 17 pcs

No, tell them to pay for their own wedding – 80 pcs

Other – 2pcs ‘A neighbour billed us for baking cakes for our street party – do I have to pay?’

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