Democratic Senator’s Taylor Swift Joke Falls Flat at Ticketmaster Site Crash Hearing

It feels like after 23 years of radical division that have shaped 21st century American politics, our two major parties have found a single cause to champion: the Swifties’ plight.

The “Swifties,” for the uninitiated, are Taylor Swift’s mega-fans. Not just those who tap along to a Swift song on the radio or even know all of their lyrics. I’m talking about the guy who bought all the vinyl, cassette and CD special editions of their latest album “Midnights” (it says they have over 20). billboard). And everyone wanted concert tickets.

Then they stumbled upon everyone’s least favorite monopoly: Ticketmaster.

When time noted, “Fans saved hundreds of dollars and took days off during the presale so they could wait in virtual queues to purchase tickets for Taylor Swift’s upcoming tour.

“Some waited for hours on the Ticketmaster website only to see the tickets they selected disappeared from their shopping carts or were booted out of the queue when the website went down. Many of those lucky enough to secure tickets were hit with costly fees, and resellers began offering tickets online for more than $20,000.”

That’s why everyone is committed to the cause of the Swifties. It’s not as if every member of the Senate has a secret fondness for TayTay’s work. In fact, the debacle that was November’s presale event was the most glaring market failure for a company with a brand reputation that falls somewhere between Cambridge Analytica and a Ford Pinto with a box of lit Roman candles pinned to its rear bumper.

“I want to congratulate you and thank you for an absolutely amazing accomplishment: you brought Republicans and Democrats together in an absolutely unified cause,” Democratic Senator Richard Blumenthal of Connecticut said during Tuesday’s hearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee.

That didn’t stop the senators from pretending to be 40 years younger than they were, and they tried action like cool swift fans for the day. Particularly – sigh — Blumenthal.

Now for some background: Despite Ticketmaster being the most blatant predatory megamonopoly in the company’s recent history, something that made Microsoft look like a garage start-up in the 1990s, Ticketmaster claimed it lacked the resources to handle the massive influx of fans to deal with those who wanted to buy tickets – or the resellers who use bots to get those seats. Instead, it blamed Swift and her adoring fans.

Blumenthal’s response: “May I respectfully suggest that Ticketmaster should look in the mirror and say, ‘I’m the problem, it’s me?'”

Senator Richard Blumenthal (D-CT) says Ticketmaster blames Taylor Swift for the Eras Tour ticketing debacle.

“May I respectfully suggest that Ticketmaster should look in the mirror and say, ‘I’m the problem, it’s me’?” pic.twitter.com/fysGM9hTqD

— The Recount (@therecount) January 24, 2023

wump wump.

This, for the uninitiated, was taken from the lyrics to Swift’s hit song “Anti-Hero”: “It’s me, hi / I’m the problem, it’s me (I’m the problem, it’s me) / At teatime, everyone agrees / I stare straight into the sun, but never into the mirror.”

This couldn’t possibly have been more pathetic, as twitterers noted:

This sailed right over the heads of 95% of everyone in the room.

— UMH ⚾️ Astros ’17 🏆 ’22 🏆 (@ultramodhippie) January 24, 2023

I uh… I see what he did there. 🤣

— Leonardo Sanchez (@WingzeroF1) January 25, 2023

pic.twitter.com/yGfJH0fBG9

— Chasing Pluto, esq. (@Chasing_Pluto) January 24, 2023

whoops

— Asperama (@Asperama1) January 24, 2023

To be fair, Blumenthal wasn’t the only one doing this — or being called out for it on social media.

This Ticketmaster hearing is killing me. All these adult senators using Taylor Swift lyrics in their arguments is everything I didn’t know I needed. 😂 pic.twitter.com/r7FYRfz15R

— Perla 🧚🏼‍♀️ (@MexicanFairyy) January 24, 2023

Here’s Democratic Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar with an ode to Swift’s “All Too Well.”

“To have a strong capitalist system, you need competition. You can’t have too much consolidation,” Sen. Klobuchar says of Ticketmaster.

“Something that unfortunately for this country – as an ode to Taylor Swift, I would say – we know all too well.” pic.twitter.com/o0vJ2YHExY

— ABC News Politics (@ABCPolitics) January 24, 2023

And that was also a bipartisan phenomenon that swept along lawmakers that I actually like. Take GOP Senator Mike Lee from Utah – please – who referenced several Swift songs during the hearing:

“I think it’s a nightmare dressed up like a daydream.”

US Senator Mike Lee references Taylor Swift’s lyrics during Senate hearings on last year’s Ticketmaster debacle. Read the full story: pic.twitter.com/GmJeRvM5ls

— The Associated Press (@AP) January 24, 2023

#TAYLORSWIFT: At today’s Senate Judiciary Committee hearing on Ticketmaster, Sen. Mike Lee joked with Sen. Amy Klobuchar, using Taylor Swift’s lyrics, “I was hoping… to get the gavel back, but again, she’s Chair Captain and I am.” am doing the grandstands.” pic.twitter.com/DsGIcoRFk5

— Forbes (@Forbes) January 24, 2023

It’s enough to wish Joe Biden hadn’t been elected vice president to Barack Obama, which would have put him on the path to the White House, instead of spending his final years in public service in his old seat as chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee spend.

Of course, in trying to invoke Swift, our 46th President would have inadvertently cited two artists from his youth and an up-and-coming act that’s all the rage with kids — Stephen Forster, Gilbert & Sullivan and Depeche Modeto say.

However, it’s worth noting that of all these senators pretending to be Swifties in disguise, Blumenthal is the only one who has faked a story about serving in Vietnam. But then what can you expect from the Congress? After all, it’s a body that might glean its official motto from the title of a Taylor song: “I would lie.”

Unfortunately for Swift fans, the bad guys seemed to be the real winner on Tuesday. When the Senate is so serious about taking on a predatory corporate giant that its members are tripping over themselves to get into the most viral Swift-quoting moment of the hearing, it’s clear Ticketmaster needn’t worry.