For a variety contest, there was a distinct lack of, well, variety

New Yorker Loren Allred has sparked “fix” disputes. In addition to appearing on the soundtrack of the blockbuster film The Greatest Showman, she also took part in the US version of The Voice and duetted with Andrea Bocelli. The judges leaned forward to justify their presence in this final. You protested too much. The singer was an alarm clock.

There was a distinct lack of variety for a variety show competition. The finale was dominated by music and comedy, with no room for acrobats, magicians or original acts. Half of the cast consisted of precocious children. No finalist was over 40 years old. Amber & The Dancing Collies were announced as wildcards for the judges, partly to add a difference. Bouncing bitch Nymeria was a wobbly wonder, but panto villain Cowell was flatly booed for suggesting Dutch trainer Amber Karstens should change Nymeria’s name. Hey, it’s dog eat dog in showbiz.

The judges dished out platitudes about every act being a potential winner. The most notable aspect of the panel’s contribution was how much Cowell has softened since his “Mr Nasty” days. He referred to his son Eric endlessly, sympathized when mistakes were made and even got emotional. I prefer the new, cuddlier Cowell – although he still has to show his brilliant teeth occasionally.

As is so often the case with these shiny-bottomed showpieces, the process took at least half an hour too long. The bloated 150-minute runtime was filled with repeat VTs, QR code plugs, and incessant commercial breaks. The musical guests were the cast of the West End Show Sister Act. Presumably all the big names were busy outside Buckingham Palace.

Still, this was a final full of flag-waving patriotism. The Queen was consistently mentioned in awe. It might not have been the most stylish leg of the Platinum Anniversary Weekend celebrations, but it was a rousing show with a heartwarmingly worthy winner. Let’s hope Axel Blake performs in front of the Queen herself this fall. She might find him almost as amusing as a certain jelly-sandwich-mocking Peruvian bear.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/tv/2022/06/06/britains-got-talent-final-review-plenty-flag-waving-patriotism/ For a variety contest, there was a distinct lack of, well, variety


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