How to get your Euro 2020 party started

The rules

Better hope this weather lasts as current government guidelines allow for socializing of two households or six people indoors but 30 outdoors. Getting around this I suppose is to merge your euro party into a wedding or funeral which currently allows 30 people to meet inside but with the stipulation that either a) someone the you know dies or b) two people you know are legally married. No one needs to drink Stella Artois and laugh so hard at Gary Lineker’s banter.

Then there is social distancing. Harry Kane scores at the last minute? Remember what your PM said: hugging should be done “with caution and restraint” even if you’re vaccinated. The same presumably goes for the pre-kick-off of the human pyramids, half-time sex and licking the TV when Gareth Southgate shows up.

The politicians

Remember: every nation has its own take on Covid, which could create friction. Danish diners, knowing their country is basically open aside from nightclubs, might as well rush in after inviting 31 of their friends and then grab the entire buffet in one go.

At the other end of the spectrum is Belgium. You could invite a Belgian to your party as an olive branch to show we’re through with the whole Brexit thing and the whole vaccinator and Eurovision, but do you know they might just be in more PPE than Naomi in the corner of the garden sits Campbell, who insists they are having a great time but really just eyes the Danes with suspicion.

Other things to note politically: 1) Sorry, yes, everyone still hates England. 2) Especially the Scots. 3) If you have guests from Ireland or Northern Ireland, do not ask them what time their team is playing. 4) UEFA has what they call “prohibited clashes”, encounters like Russia vs Ukraine and Kosovo vs Bosnia that are avoided because there would be chaos if the game went ahead. As a co-governing body, it’s good to use this yourself when it comes to inviting pro and anti-lockdown folks. Positive vibes only. How to get your Euro 2020 party started

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