I’ve tried every potty training method out there. Here’s why I’ve had enough

Why a mother really steps on the gas during intensive potty training. (Photo: Getty)

Why a mother really steps on the gas during intensive potty training. (Photo: Getty)

“It’s only three days,” I remember explaining to my husband the first time we thought about potty training our son, one of four (soon to be five). “But he just poops and pees on the floor?” he asked. We’ve discussed the three-day half-naked kid method where they go around with no underwear and you often take them to the potty, offer lots of drinks and make it a whole weekend at home (in the potty jail). The program promises that by the end of this hell, you’ll have a potty-trained child. We didn’t, and we all ended up a lot more exhausted and depressed, including the child.

From then on we tried various other programs with the next few children. On one we were totally against pull-up diapers because we found it would discourage her from potty training. On another, we threw pull-ups at her, but stopped doing that at a certain age. A child came home from daycare fully potty trained one day after seeing a friend use the potty. We shook our heads at all our efforts, all seemingly in vain.

We’re far from alone in this controversial conundrum, a hot topic in parenting groups alongside the “big” topics like sleep training and baby-led weaning. dr Anandita Pala Houston-area pediatrician explains why.

“Having seen thousands of children and their families each year, my experience shows that most of the pressure comes from other parents and societal pressures that expect children to be able to make pottery by a certain age,” she says. “Beyond that, there’s an added expectation that comes with children being potty trained before they go to school or kindergarten.” While parents think it’s a huge milestone, she says pediatricians don’t. “Every child is different and potty training is a very personal step in their growth and development.”

Schools and child care providers can put additional pressure on parents to wean their children out of diapers. (Photo: Getty)

Schools and child care providers can put additional pressure on parents to wean their children out of diapers. (Photo: Getty)

It took me exactly 4.5 kids to learn that term, which is why I have no intention of actively potty training our next baby. I’ll definitely show them the potty, read the Elmo book that makes the flushing noise, and show them how Daniel Tiger “stops and immediately leaves” before he “flushes and washes and gets on his way.” But I won’t have half-naked weekends with peeing bottoms or panicking about pull-ups, and I definitely won’t be in school programs that require full potty training as a toddler or preschooler.

Parents say they learn from their children and they are their greatest teachers. Little did I know it would take so many children to realize that instead of me deciding when and how to potty, the toddler is actually leading the way through signs and their own communication. At the moment my 19 month old is interested in paddling to the bathroom and checking the potty. He flushes the toilet, slams the lid and makes a mess. But that’s the beginning of potty training. He says, “Mom, what is that big white thing and what is it for?” in his own way. So instead of shooing him away, let’s talk about it.

I also didn’t know that parental pressure can actually cause health problems. “Potty training should be taught by toddlers; If rushed, it can lead to other issues like pain, restraint, chronic constipation, and accidents,” says Pal. “Once a child shows interest in and using the potty, it’s a good idea to gradually introduce them to the concept by watching videos together and guiding them to the potty if interested.”

For me, the programs themselves set the schedule rather than any outside pressure. Pal sees this in other parents too. “Trying out a program or following a schedule may seem helpful for parents and some children, but is pointless unless the child is ready themselves. Under certain circumstances, these programs or time limits may result in delays and harmful behavior.”

Instead, I intend to follow Pal’s advice and my kids’ cues. She suggests the following:

  • Establishing a predictable and unpredictable location and time

  • Teach them the process of using the toilet, wiping their hands and then washing the same way each time to reinforce the process

  • Inform and ensure all caregivers can follow this consistent approach

  • Never embarrass a child and celebrate success instead

  • Let’s remember the broad timeline, from 24 months to 4 to 5 years, everything that is “normal”.

And when in doubt, I remember the oldest potty spell in the book. As Pal notes, “We don’t find too many high schoolers in diapers, so rest assured it will happen.”

Wellness, parenting, body image and more: get to know it who Behind huh with the Yahoo Life newsletter. Sign up here.

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/quitting-potty-training-pressure-stress-141521699.html I’ve tried every potty training method out there. Here’s why I’ve had enough

Skyred

Pechip.com is an automatic aggregator of the all world’s media. In each content, the hyperlink to the primary source is specified. All trademarks belong to their rightful owners, all materials to their authors. If you are the owner of the content and do not want us to publish your materials, please contact us by email – admin@pechip.com. The content will be deleted within 24 hours.

Related Articles

Back to top button