Man asks if he was wrong in ‘ruining’ a proposal that took place at his girlfriend’s party

A man has questioned whether it was wrong to interrupt his future brother-in-law’s proposal because he thought it was “disrespectful” for him to do so at his girlfriend’s party.

The man popped the question to the Reddit subreddit AITA [Am I the a**hole]where he revealed his girlfriend recently threw a housewarming party after buying a house.

“She invited a lot of people to a housewarming party. She put so much work into everything. The house looked amazing and the food was delicious,” he wrote.

However, according to the Reddit user, who goes by the username u/itsnotmypartyoryours, right after the guests had dinner, his girlfriend’s brother decided to take the opportunity to propose to his girlfriend.

In the post, the man then recalled how he decided to put the proposal on hold before his girlfriend’s brother could get a response. “Before she could reply I told him to sit down and stop being so rude and disrespectful to his sister,” he wrote, adding, “He was pissed but his girlfriend looked so embarrassed. In the end they left.”

In addition to angering his girlfriend’s brother and partner, the man said his behavior had an impact on the other partygoers, noting that the party was “very awkward afterwards” and “a lot of people left early.”

The Reddit user said his girlfriend’s mother was also “angry” at him for his decision to cut short her son’s proposal as “she wanted her son to stop living in sin and I ruined it.” , and his girlfriend’s brother texted him to call him a “pr***”.

On how his girlfriend felt, the man said, “My girlfriend said I was cute but didn’t have to.”

The man ended the post by asking if he was the “asshole to tell them to have some classes.”

As of March 17, the post has received more than 20,000 upvotes, with users divided in the comments.

According to one person, the OP [original poster] wasn’t wrong as they claimed it’s “just rude to hijack events for your suggestion”.

“NTA [Not the a**hole]. It’s just rude to hijack events for your suggestion. Oh, my sister bought a new house? Perfect situation to make sure everything revolves around my proposal. Her brother-in-law sounds like a curmudgeon who thought he could get away with it. Is he usually so entitled?” They wrote.

Someone else claimed the suggestion was a “red flag” and that the Reddit user “got what they deserved.”

“Red flag right there. Reckless, entitled and too lazy to organize anything myself,” they wrote. “If I were his girlfriend, I would be offended that my boyfriend doesn’t feel like I deserve something that was arranged just for me. Also, it’s very rude to take advantage of someone else’s hard work like that. He got what he deserved. NTA.”

Another person agreed, writing: “NTA. He was trying to hijack someone else’s party because people need to learn that you ask before they make someone else’s event all about you.”

Others jokingly encouraged the man to teach his sister’s brother a lesson by proposing at his wedding.

“Propose at their wedding or the next family gathering and see how quickly they change their minds that it’s okay. NTA,” wrote another.

While the majority of the comments came from users siding with the man, others suggested he might be wrong because blaming his sister’s brother was “not his business”.

“She’s right, you didn’t have to do that and it wasn’t your job,” one person claimed, while another said, “If you want to propose at someone else’s party or make a big announcement, you must check with the host(s) beforehand. Don’t hijack someone else’s event.

“That said, I’d say maybe next time after the announcement you’ll pull her aside instead of calling her out publicly. As you said yourself, it ruined the party.”

According to wedding resource website Zola, proposal etiquette warns against stealing the limelight, meaning proposals shouldn’t typically take place at weddings or other parties not hosted by the couple who are getting engaged.

“Asking the question at a baby shower, anniversary party, or someone else’s wedding is taboo. Unless you’re very close to the guest of honor and it’s their idea, just don’t do it,” the website writes. “Wait until you can be alone in the spotlight and give others a chance to bask in theirs.”