Financial independence is a fundamental aspect of women’s security. Whether it’s the ability to be financially self-sufficient, having access to money anytime, anywhere, or having cash on hand in an emergency, a woman’s financial situation is paramount. Yet, the question of how a woman should throw out her financial safety net remains contentious for some.
After their marriage started showing red flags, one woman’s concerns prompted her to plan a rainy-day divorce fund. While some found their “exit fund” problematic, others saw it as a necessary precaution.
Divorce funds are one thing
A woman we will call Amy has been married to her husband, whom we will call Kurt, for eight years. She declares that they maintain fair but separate finances, both equally contributing to bills and a joint savings account. However, the couple keep “separate” checking accounts. According to Amy, after expenses are deducted, how they spend their remaining funds is up to them.
Amyexplainsthatshe and Kurt make about the same amount of money. “Nevertheless, Kurt tends to spend his money on “expensive” hobbies. Amy set up a separate personal savings account with her excess funds to serve as a “divorce fund” in the event of a breakup.
According to Amy, she opened the account due to some red flags. “I’m just not sure about my marriage, and I feel more secure having the option to leave when things get worse,” she says. “My mother was in two abusive relationships growing up and I never want to get into a situation where I feel trapped,” she adds, suggesting that such a fund could provide protection.
Despite Kurt’s non-abusive behavior towards Amy, she mentions that they haven’t had sex in five years. “Though she mentions they’re in therapy, the lack of intimacy has created some tension.
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“I don’t feel like I’m in a relationship anymore and I’m not sure how to fix that if he refuses to open up to me,” she shares. Amy says She gives the situation time but feels better if she has a plan if it gets worse.
Her willingness to outline an exit strategy didn’t sit well with her best friend. After her confession, they said she was not faithful to her marriage.
According to her, Amy has “one foot out front” through a secret divorce fund. Instead of waiting, they suggested that she leave now as it would be the nicer thing to do.
Does money really matter?
Success in marriage is not a sure-fire success. Taking your situation for granted can have serious consequences. AsAmy mentioned, she didn’t want to be trapped like her mother used to be, a situation many women face when they become financially dependent on their spouses.
Is a Divorce Fund the Same as Having a Foot Out Front? While some may think so, others see it as no more complicated than a standard insurance policy. Taking responsibility for yourfinancial security is never a bad idea. Or is it?
Finances in relationships are always a touchy subject and are often not split evenly down the middle. If one partner pays more into bills or a joint savings account while the other sets aside extra money for a divorce fund, it could be perceived as fraudulent on several levels.
It’s inevitable that even if you’re an expert on secrecy, the fund will eventually come to light when a “divorce case” begins. In the context of a divorce, all assets acquired during the marriage are divided. That begs the question, doesthedivorcefundmoneyreally matter?
What happens to this fund if you ultimately divorce?
Ultimately, only you can decide whether opening a divorce fund is worthwhile. Despite its ability to provide financial security and autonomy, it is not without its drawbacks. Cash is generally shared as a marital property unless it is a separate property, such as a marriage. B. a gift.
In Amy’s case, most commenters agreed that she had the right to set the funds aside since it was hers in the first place and they had agreed to keep separate accounts. They informed them of the fate of their rainy day funds. “I very much doubt he wouldn’t get half in a divorce anyway,” said one commenter.
If youdecide thatasecretdivorce fund will help you sleep at night, you should follow some of the advice above. Make sure you are familiar with your state’s specific laws regarding your spouse’s rights to the fund. Take into account that the amount is not there when you need it and save even more.
Additionally, it can be helpful to think about why you need the fund in the first place. And whether your relationship with your spouse needs more attention.
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